Real Talk.

What is Real Talk you ask?

Real Talk is a term that came from my beloved friend  Mariel Tompkins to express the need to leave any B.S. at the door and say what ya mean.

I think tonight is one of those nights. 

So here we go ladies and gents...

Real Talk.

1. As I stated previously, I'm working on trading my affection for  cookies to an affection for apples.

It hasn't gone too terribly.

Real Talk: Well I mean, aside from that cookie I had yesterday.

2.  Real Talk: Long distance dating SUCKS for me this week. It just plum blows. I try not to show it all the time because I don't want to be a debbie downer, and it's not as if I feel this way every moment of every day, but my gosh. I just want to be in the same state as my boyfriend. The thing is, I don't think Trev takes it too hard. I mean, if he does, he doesn't show it really, which doesn't surprise me because he's not one to harp on things (like I am), and I'm thankful for that because it keeps things positive. I know he misses me, he's just so darn level headed. But sometimes I just wanna be like DOESN'T THIS BUG THE CRAP OUT OF YOU?! I wish somehow I would magically walk outside my door and see an envelope that said "Vacation Money" on it, and we'd be able to go somewhere...ANYWHERE...for just a weekend. Just to hang out. By ourselves. I know that time will come. I'm just impatient. Clearly.

3.  Real Talk: I saw Picnic last night, and it was fabulous. The set is literally so stunning it leaves you breathless. I felt like I was still watching it like I was in rehearsal, which was really odd. It was a very strange experience. It made me sad, of course. But I was also so happy for the cast. Seeing how happy they were when they were done and how proud everyone was of them, and the support they had from their classes, just tugged at my heart strings. I admit, the part I miss the most about CCM is the built in support system. I know I'm probably the only one who ever even thinks about it, but I tend to feel like "the girl who left CCM" a lot now when I'm hanging out with my friends. I can't always keep up with their conversations and I feel in limbo. It's an adjustment, and it's not a constant issue so it doesn't worry me too much, but it's definitely something I'm aware of. 

4. I had my job interview at the design school yesterday. I think it went really, really well and I'm praying my stinking HEAD off that I get it because Real Talk: I.need.money.bad.

5. Real Talk: I actually have started going to counseling on campus, just to help me adjust in a healthy way to everything thats changing. It's not just the changes with CCM, but I've had a pretty crazy couple of years. I probably won't go into that part of my life much on here but something that I've definitely noticed is that I've gotten much more negative than I've ever been. My motto in high school used to be this song that went something like "Smile, dontcha be a grumpy, when the road gets bumpy just smile, smile, smile and be happy!" I think it's time I take my own advice, but it's proven to be sort of difficult for me so I think this will help move me in the right direction, and have a positive effect on all aspects of my life. I'm a BIG believer in self confidence. Confidence will take you far. It's so important to me to have a firm grasp on my own self confidence, and I expect this will give me a good push.

Here's to Real Talk, and moving forward, one apple at a time!

'Til next time...

-C