1. Some days I feel bad at everything: a bad friend, a bad girlfriend, a bad blogger, a bad employee, and a bad intern. When you spread yourself in many directions, it's endlessly frustrating to feel like you're failing when you feel like all you do is work your butt off to keep up. Most nights I'm still working at my computer when Trevor goes to sleep, and when I do shut down and step away early, I realize later that things didn't get done that needed to. It's a vicious cycle and I still don't really know how to manage my time better.
2. I hate being jealous, but I see so many bloggers constantly purchasing new items from shopbop or planning rendezvous to Europe and it makes jealous that I struggle just to pay my ATT bill every month (at the same time, I'm lucky to even have a cell phone bill to pay, so I'm not complaining)
3. On that note, even though I am so so so excited about both of my internships this summer, I am stressed about how I'll deal with not having a paying job for that much time. My expenses are next to nothing for the summer because I'm living rent free, but I still feel uneasy about it.
4. I want to start my own design/decorating/styling business like so many others, but I have no idea what will separate my own services from theirs and I feel goofy saying it out loud.
5. I was really embarrassed that I didn't have much direction for a while and felt so unsuccessful that I started avoiding talking about myself and became a lot more shy the past couple of years. Even though its gotten better, I still struggle with it and sometimes I feel like it makes people not like me when they first meet me.
6. I hate that I don't know where I want to end up after graduation.
7. The blog world is really materialistic and sometimes it scares me that this is such a big part of my life. I worry that I will forget to remember that none of this stuff really matters.
8. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and go to school elsewhere for interior design. It makes me sad that I'm now just in a place where I'm trying to hurry and finish my degree in the least expensive way possible, and that I don't think I'll feel much pride when graduation day comes.
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Here are some of the other women sharing things they're afraid to tell you:
1ST WAVE: Carly: A Simple Affair / Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor’s Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It’s Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic
2ND WAVE: Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted |The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A &B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry |Bubby & Bean | Penelope’s Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda’s Musings | Mo’ Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty’s Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea
**image via Ez
I agree with a lot of the things on your list especially about not having direction. I didn't decide what I really wanted to do until a year and a half after graduating from college and just graduated from a certificate program two weeks ago. It's taken me awhile to accept that everyone has a different path and mine has been just right for me. As for your design business, you'll figure it out. Your apartment's style is great and I'm going to get an ektrop sofa from ikea soon because I loved how your living room looked!
ReplyDeleteugghhh number 7 is SO true for me as well! The blogging world IS materialistic, I have actually stopped reading certain blogs even though they are outrageously popular because I know they don't have any value in my life!
ReplyDeleteI am in the process of becoming a midwife and its really hard for me to balance out my feelings about fashion: love! and my feelings about women and embracing themselves as they are.
I agree that it's frustrating, but good for you for sharing! Well done!
Amen. You need to give yourself more credit, though! You are a wonderful person all around! Also, don't worry - we'll figure out number 4!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the inspiration, Caitlin! I loved reading Jess's original posts on this series and wanted to do my own, but it was reading yours that gave me the final motivation.
ReplyDeletehttp://dreamgreendiy.com/2012/05/18/the-things-im-afraid-to-tell-you-series/
Thanks for sharing and you are so not alone =)
Wow...I can't even begin to tell you how much I relate to this post. I only recently discovered your blog through The Everygirl and have gone back and read everything you post. I love how relate-able you are and how often I feel like I'm reading something which I am feeling at that exact moment.
ReplyDeleteAfter spending 4 years getting a teaching degree, I quit after a year and a half. I'm still proud that I did it, but it really wasn't for me....now I feel somewhat confused and nervous about my future. I also really agreed with number 7 and worry that all of the time I spend reading blogs about pretty things means, nothing, in the grand scheme of things.
Anyway I`ll stop babbling now. I just wanted to say, thank you so much for this post :)
Stephanie
I can definitely relate! Especially to number 5. It's been a tough one for me to break through and I always find myself disappointed by the impression that I think I leave of myself. Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Thanks so much for sharing Caitlin :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with 5, 6, 7, and 8. I have/had the same problem.
ReplyDeleteI just recently graduated college this year and I had the same problem. What helped me with number 8 was the day of graduation I saw the friends I made during college and I felt extremely happy and complete, even though I didn't know what I wanted to do. But there was so much pride seeing the smiles of my friends and myself, and thinking "I finally don't have to do homework anymore or write long research papers!" That made me so happy, and I was proud of myself because I FINALLY graduated college :)
For number 5 you will become more confident now that you know what you want to do. This summer will be amazing for you and help you understand and be confident with yourself.
For 6, trust me you'll find it. And I think you already have an idea of what you want to do after college. You just have to trust yourself (that's what I learned for myself). I was so scared to try something because I thought I'm not good enough, but I am and I have experience in the field I want to pursue. As well as yours (hint: your internships & blog)
& 7, OMG I'm definitely afraid of this too. I'm going to start my own blog too next week and I am terribly afraid that I will become materialistic too. And I'm afraid that I'll forget what matters most to me. It feels weird saying this, but it's true. I hope I remain the same and humble and not be too materialistic. And I wish that for you too.
Good Luck with life.
Love,
Jessica