A Mix of Things.

Hey y'all.

It's been far too long since I've given a substantial update.

I blame moving and stress and the lack of internet.

Yes, let's just stick with that.

Because it's (mostly) true.

Anyway,

I've missed you, little blog.

I wish so badly that I had a good camera right now 

so that I could show yall pictures of my room at the new apartment!

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm really proud of it because I stayed on a really tight budget and it's still everything I want. I'll post about that all in a separate post with bad quality pictures, 

but hopefully y'all will get the idea.

Settling into my new apartment feels fun and relaxing and also stressful at the same time.

I'm having some financial issues (I mean, who isnt?) but I know I'll make do.

I'm not sure what to say today. I feel like I have so much to say that I'm overwhelmed with my own thoughts. And I'll be honest-it's been hard to blog very positively lately. It seems that one thing after the other is thrown at my family, and I just watch as I feel like there is nothing I can do to fix things.

The good news is, life has completely put things in perspective for me.

I find myself getting stressed about really minute things that really don't matter.

Like, not having new clothes or not having a car.

While both of these things would be nice,

all I really want and need in my life is peace.

To be honest, I really am missing the days when I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Now it seems something is always keeping me up.

But, I'm doing my best to work through all of my family's problems in a healthy way.

I'm going to be turning in my application to volunteer at the Women Helping Women Shelter this week.

I've created a nice, cozy room for myself that relaxes me.

I'm reading a lot about things that help me to handle the anxiety I'm feeling about the problems around me. 

And I'm praying.

Praying for the things that matter.

Like safety.

and comfort.

and peace.

When I was in third grade, we had a whole lesson about economics.

One of the main points of the lesson was the difference between wants and needs.

Well if there is anything that I've learned, it's the difference between those two things.

I don't NEED a new dress or a new curling iron.

I don't NEED a 40 dollar pillow from pier one when the one on sale at Walmart does the job just as well.

I might want certain things.

But as long as I have love, safety, and peace, thats truly all that matters.

I'm asking everyone out there to send good vibes, prayers, thoughts, anything you've got to my family.

I swear that from now on, I will never take basic needs for granted.

I will never be so blind to think that I have it bad if I can't get the cute car that I want,

or if I can't furnish my apartment from Crate and Barrel.

Instead, I'm happy to have a roof over my head.

I'm happy to have a family who loves me, no matter what.

I'm happy to have Trevor, who makes me smile every. single. day.

I'm happy to have great friends who genuinely care for me, especially right now.

I hope that volunteering provides some settlement and peace in my heart.

Selfishly, I want that, because helping these women through these situations and knowing that I could be making a difference, might just make up for a fraction of what I can't fix in my own life right now.

Helping others is helping yourself. I hope I remember that, always.

That's all I've got for now.

I know this is a little scattered. 

I've been wanting to make my blog more focused, but I think, for now,

I'm okay with it being what it is,

because at the end of the day, I write this for me.

But I'm glad y'all are here too :)

'Til next time...

-C