Firstly. Tims left today for his first Co-Op job in Buffalo, NY! For those who aren't familiar with co-ops, heres a little tutorial: Ya see, Trevor's program does this really cool thing where starting the end of his Sophomore year, he begins to alternate quarters of working professionally in the field he's studying (Industrial Design, if you're curious), and taking classes at school. It's a really great way to get hands on experience and build up your resume before you even graduate. It's more than interning because you're working full time and don't take classes simeltaneously. You also get paid! He's a very lucky boy because it also allows him to travel outside of Cincinnati. Not too shabby. The downside is that he's in school all year round because he has to take classes in the summer, and you're in school for 5 years instead of 4. But still, a small price to pay :).
So last night I said goodbye to him and will be returning to Cin-City solo. I'll miss him, but I'm so excited that he gets to do this! He's fooling around with the idea of starting a blog to document his internship (he also made it very clear it would be only about his internship, nothing about his mushy gushy feelings for me. he knows me too well.) Buffalo is about a 7 hour drive from Cinci, so hopefully we'll get to each other on weekends once in a while. Another fancy perk about the company he's working for is that Fridays are a half day, which makes it much easier to make weekend trips. Hoorah!
Secondly. I have just made a very big change to my life that I'm really excited to tell you all about.
After a lot of thought and consideration, I've decided to leave CCM and switch my major. I'll be staying at UC, and will most likely declare a communications major in the fall. For now, I'll be taking some core classes to recieve some credits.
If you're a first time reader, let me give you a little background. Since September I've been an acting student at a conservatory. Before that, I went to a pre professional performing arts high school, and before that, I went to a performing arts magnet middle school. So many people think that going to school for acting is a cop-out of doing any "real" work, but let me tell ya-you couldn't be more wrong. A typical day at school for me started at 9am and didn't end until 10:30pm, and I think all of winter quarter I had 2 weekends off. This is all in conjunction with memorizing lines, doing homework, and trying to maintain your personal hygeine. It's a tricky lifestyle but I'm surrounded by people who handle it very well.
Winter Quarter was really rough for me. Well, Winter Quarter is rough for EVERYONE. But for me, it was a little more than just being busy. I had little to no motivation all the time, and I can't tell you how lonely it feels to be in a room full of people who are so excited to be doing something that just feels like a chore to you. I'm not sure why I felt this way, or what changed for me this quarter.
After talking to the head of my department, it was noted that I was always very engaged and giving when I would be watching other people work in class, but when it was my turn to work, the fire dwindled. It's weird hearing this, because it's true and it's weird that it's true because that was never the case for me before. I've been acting since I could talk practically, and that's when I've always felt the most alive. That's where my energy comes from. But this quarter, I found myself being relieved when I was offstage. I found myself doing things just to get through them, but having no joy in my work at all. It was scary for me because this is something that has DEFINED me for the majority of my life.
I finally realized that feeling this way is okay. I finally realized that this doesn't mean I don't get to be an actress, or that I can't be involved with theatre, it just means I need to be in control of my own life and have other options. Maybe turning something that I love so much into a job isn't right for me. I love it too much to let it become something that I dread. Who knows if that's the way that I'll feel a month from now, but I'm comforted knowing that the choice is mine, and that I hold the control over my own life. It was a scary decision to make, but a surprisingly easy one because I knew deep down that this is what I needed to do. Whether or not I pursue an acting career when I graduate, I don't know right now. I know it will always be a part of my life, but at this point I need to be able to have more control over what I do. I'm excited to move forward. I feel settled and good about this decision and I know that everything will come together the way that it should.
So! Here is my schedule for next quarter:
Monday: Intro to Journalism (10:00-10:50)
Fundamentals of Directing (1:00-1:50)
Math (boooo! 2:00-2:50)
Tuesday: Off. Yes. I'm off. I have no classes. Zip. Zilch. So instead I'll fill my time with working out, homework, and eventually a job when I'm able to get a car to Cincinnati!
Wednesday: Intro to Journalism (10:00-10:50)
Fundamentals of Directing (1:00-1:50)
Math (boooo! 2:00-2:50)
Intro to Mass Communications (3:00-5:40)
Thursday: Off. Yep. Again! More working out, homework, and a job! I'm so excited to be able to get a job and have my own money again. Definite Plus :)
Friday: Intro to Journalism (10-00-10:50)
Fundamentals of Directing (1:00-1:50)
Math (boooo! 2:00-2:50)
So there you go. Thats my new, simpler life. I'm so excited to see where it will take me.
'Til next time...
-C
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